Pornography and Sex Addiction

The national crisis associated with the use of opioids leading to addiction and physical death is now considered an epidemic. The current use of pornography and sex that leads to addiction as well as the moral and spiritual death associated with it must be termed a pandemic. It is worldwide and encompasses and exploits all age groups. It is no respecter of persons, genders, religious beliefs, or political views. It is destroying individuals, marriages and families. Yet this pandemic does not make it to the mainstream news. The world is in denial. So too are those who are enslaved and in bondage to its soul-destroying grips because of the shame and guilt associated with such an addiction.

Some Statistics on Pornography Use

In a recent Christian Counseling Today magazine (Vol.22 No.1), the entire issue was dedicated to pornography and sexual addiction. The magazine stated that in a survey done by the Barna Group conducted in 2014, the survey found that 64% of self-identified Christian men and 15% of self-identified Christian women view pornography at least once a month. Some 37% of the same men and 7% of the same women view pornography at least several times a week. Mind you, that was in 2014. Do you think the statistics have improved in 2018?

64% of self-identified Christian men and 15% of self-identified Christian women view pornography at least once a month

It gets even more troubling. That same Barna survey found that a staggering 57% of pastors and 64% of youth pastors admitted to struggling with viewing pornography, either in the past or currently. Out of those surveyed, 21% of youth pastors and 14% of pastors admitted they are currently battling with the use or pornography. If that many in the survey were being totally honest, consider what the real number is. We know the shame and fear of their secret sin being exposed can cause even the best of men or women to struggle with adding the deceit and lies necessary to keep that sin hidden in the deepest depths of their personal ocean.

57% of pastors and 64% of youth pastors admitted to struggling with viewing pornography

Porn Use Doesn’t Only Affect the Individual

There is always collateral damage. Sex trafficking and the exploitation of innocent women, men, and most abhorrently children – STD’s on the rise – prison time for those that have gone over the cliff with their perversity. All these add even more pain and fallout to this already damaging behavior. Spouses and marriages have been decimated—many on the brink of divorce. Trust is gone. The marriage bed defiled. Children are devastated. This addiction does and will only get progressively worse.

There is Hope

That same hope for eternal life that we receive from God can bring hope and redemption for today. God with His grace, love, mercy, and forgiveness can redeem what was lost—from the devastated and betrayed spouse to the broken, shame-filled, guilt-ridden addict himself. There is hope, and deliverance, and freedom. As a counselor dealing with an addict, I seek to separate the sinful choices and behaviors from a remorseful, repentant person. In each session, we dig down to look for the root cause for this destructive behavior. Many times, it stems from the family of origin coping / survival skills developed as a young child. When we identify the root causes, I develop a treatment plan to address these unhealthy coping and behavior skills and help clients replace them with healthy alternatives.

Healing for Marriages

The family has also been negatively impacted by the addiction. Most importantly, the spouse often has extensive and painful hurts, wounds, and trauma from the betrayal, the lies, the manipulation, and the loss of trust. Those issues must be addressed as intentionally as helping the addict. For a marriage to survive, both partners must be willing, motivated, and surrendered and allow God to come in and heal the individuals. As each individual moves forward in healing, we then ask God to begin healing the marriage. With an issue this big, we must include God. We have tried on our own for so long and with so many different ways, but only seem to experience little or temporary change. But then the behaviors come back again and this time its worse. We desperately need a Higher Power to bring true change. A transformation that comes from the inside-out not the outside-in.

But we still need HOPE. Jesus gave us this hope when He stated: “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26) Are you ready to let God do the impossible?

If you are in need of Christian counseling for an individual pornography or sexual addiction, or in need of marriage counseling to deal with the negative effects of this addiction on your marriage, please don’t wait any longer – reach out and contact me today.